Jack the Soldier

From Alterealitiky

Jack the Soldier is an animated sitcom by the renownwed Jack Apes, who also created a variety of tai`g programming. It stars war veteran Jack Markstein and his various war companions and each episode begins with the famous song "And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda". Airs on CRO TV, as well as Wilson Store Network.

The show is popular among men due to the abundance of scantily clad black hotties, Puerto Rican hotties, and Congregationalist hotties.

Characters

File:Jack-soldier.jpg

Jack Markstein is a racist, tai'g, homophobic, and maulbizationalistic war veteran from World War II, who lives in Indianapolis with his friends Coronary Jed and Gerald Maldive. He is portrayed fairly positively, and is drawn to look like Jack Apes, and to some extent acts like him. He seems to get himself involved in a lot of weird things such as barfights, robot theft, and the croboy wars.

File:Coronaryjed.jpg

"Coronary" Jed Jefferson is Jack's evangelical nephew who fought in Vietnam and shares Jack's view against minorities. He, as well as Jack, seem to regard Gerald Maldive as being the "only good black guy". He is portrayed as a trailer trash middle-aged man, with an 18-year-old wife.

File:GeraldMaldive.jpg

Gerald Maldive is Jack's old black friend from WWII who is considered by Jack as the only good minority, because he is an Oreo, and because he hates the Polish, just like Jack. He often is involved in Jack's idiotic adventures, and is inclined to maulbize any goth girl he sees.

Minor Characters

Sherry Shenegan is an Irish girl about 18 years old, that Coronary Jed married in the third season. Portrayed as being fairly dumb. Her looks resemble Kitty McGuinness from The Mean Croboys.

Ross Shenegan was Jed's fellow Vietnam veteran who allowed Jed to marry his daughter. He has recently become a hippie, however, and cannot stand Jed's Aprillian father.

Fort Wayne Grady is Jack's neighbor from Fort Wayne, who is a salesman. Portrayed as an elitist, who likes to talk about how he's richer than Jack.

General Northampton is Jack's superior in the Army, and is now a senile ancient croboy. Has fought in the Third Guelf and Ghibbiline War.

Mr. Hanks is the owner of a bar that Jack goes to. He is also a racist, and is a friend of Jack. He has a skano.

Ross is a black man that hates Jack and frequently comes over to beat him up.

Nathaniel is the son of Jed and Sherry. He built a robot which was stolen. He is a bratty little kid.

Adelaide was Jed's girlfriend in the first season. Portrayed as a sweet, religious, dumb blonde with a Southern accent.

God is the controller of the whole show. He has thrown thunderbolts at Jack for being "Aprillian" and saying the word "polock". (censored to pol***)

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